Choose life.

Choose life. Choose a job.
Choose a career. Choose a family.
Choose a fucking big television.
Choose washing machines, cars, compact-disc players,
and electrical tin openers.
Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance.
Choose fixed-interest mortgage repayments.
Choose a starter home. Choose your friends.
Choose leisurewear and matching luggage.
Choose a three-piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics.
Choose D.I. Y. and wondering who you are on a Sunday morning.
Choose sitting, watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth.

Choose rotting away at the end of it, pissing your last in a miserable home.
An embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats that you’ve spawned to replace yourself.
Choose your future. Choose life.

But why would I want to do a thing like that?
I chose not to choose life.
I chose something else.
And the reasons?
There are no reasons.
Who needs reasons when you’ve got heroin?

Choose life.
Choose Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and hope that someone, somewhere cares.
Choose looking up old flames, wishing you’d done it all differently.
And choose watching history repeat itself.
Choose your future.
Choose reality TV, slut shaming, revenge porn.
Choose a zero hour contract, a two hour journey to work.
And choose the same for your kids, only worse, and smother the pain with an unknown dose of an unknown drug made in somebody’s kitchen.

And then, take a deep breath.
You’re an addict, so be addicted. Just be addicted to something else.
Choose the ones you love.
Choose your future.

Choose life.

Mark Trenton

Send Me Your Location

It was a quiet Sunday. I decided to meet someone I barely knew.

I got off a train to the city and pulled out my phone in the middle of light rain. He sent me his location. Deep inside I was a bit anxious, meeting someone I’ve never met before. I found him in a corner of street coffee shop. He was staring at his laptop and I stood in front of his table for a moment, making sure that was him. He raised his chin and smiled at me. I pulled out my hand as he immediately shook mine. I sat down after I ordered a cup of joe. I lit my cigarettes and the small talks began while he was still doing his script works until he decided to close the laptop then asked me in the eye where I wanted to go.

We eventually went somewhere we’ve never been, for the sake of curiosity and an escapee before start a new week.

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How good things possible with me being bad

I know, I know. I’ve been bad lately. 

I wanted this and that. I ignored texts from people I don’t really care about. I forgot to say hello to people I don’t really see often until I need their help. I cancelled plans. I broke promises. I even forgot to say thanks to some people that helped me out. I often left my prayers until I get back home and regret it so much I left it over and over again. I spent money impulsively on unimportant and silly things from the internet. I’ve a lot of pending works and I just can’t multitask. I procastinated on priorities. I talked behind people’s back. I bluffed. I only socialized with clients I wanted to take advantage of. I didn’t accept the rules. I avoid the roads of truth and what my religion used to tell me. I said things differently than it should be. I concentrated on little things that I should’ve been delegate. I’ve been boozing almost 4 times every week. I realized that I turned into someone I loathe. And I lied, a lot.

I’m starting to think, am I not being myself? or is this the real me? 

How can I find the good things in life without being a good human? Is God still want to hear me? How can I start all over again? How do I find someone to take me back to right way? 

How do things even possible the way I want it to?

Salvia Divinorum

Your mind become limitless, you know exactly what’s in for you in the near future, you’ll become unstoppable yet reach your peace of mind and undistracted with anything in front of you except your truly goal at the moment.

The downside is you couldn’t stop it easily, you’ll get super exhausted by the end of the day, and you can absorb all information from the tiniest movement of your body. After you finished your goal, you’ll be information overload and suddenly care about the world, people, and even the stupidest politics that happening around you.

Eventually, you’ll sleep better at night and forget everything that happened like you skip the time before.

Will Us?

I dreamed about us on a day nap. 

You were slightly different, more like a sagittarian rather than an aquarian. You were warmer, friendlier, and we were chillin’ at a roadside cafe on an island. Everything was perfectly I wanted it to be. 

And then something came up, someone from my dark times remind me who I used to be. Something sinful that I regret but kept doing it.

But you stay eventually. You hold my hand and tell me that everything will be okay. You accepted the way I am, and the way I used to be. Although you never say the word on that dream, your little actions tell me everything. 

I woke up with an overwhelmed feeling and wondering, would it be real? 

Will us be there?

Business Ecosystem

What exactly is a ‘Business Ecosystem’?

The network of organizations – including suppliers, distributors, customers, competitors, government agencies and so on – involved in the delivery of a specific product or service through both competition and cooperation. The idea is that each business in the “ecosystem” affects and is affected by the others, creating a constantly evolving relationship in which each business must be flexible and adaptable in order to survive, as in a biological ecosystem.

The concept first appeared in Moore’s May/June 1993 Harvard Business Review article, titled “Predators and Prey: A New Ecology of Competition”, and won the McKinsey Award for article of the year.

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The Only Friends Are Right Under Your Nose

__viridian_by_8rurupyon8

She still remembers that day. The day when all hopes were turned into ashes. The last yet most beautiful dusk than she could ever imagined in her youth. Fact that she will lost all her freedom by marrying someone she didn’t love, was the only reason that she would become self-destructive. Even until the pain was all gone and she began to accept her fate.

Continue reading “The Only Friends Are Right Under Your Nose”

We’re All The Same

Negativity only affect you if you’re on the same frequency.

Vibrate higher.

I have mastered shutting out negativity. There’s a big flaw in some concious Folk. They begin to think that they’re better than everyone else and that they know what’s best for everyone. So they begin to judge others based on how they look or sound or what they do for a living. 

That type of mindset does not make you concious, it makes you another religious fanatic.

Wait a minute

Does that make me sound like them?

Long Lost Friends in the Wildness of Dagga

There’s something inside me that needs to get released every time I stuck on people’s head. A desire to get out of this hypocritical environment that filled of fake motivational speech but don’t understand how to make it right.

wild_dagga_leonotis_leonurus

I long for something chill and stress-free. I drink coffee a lot just to make me focus more on my works and a number of herbs to make me sleep better at night. Eventually, I become a vegan when it comes to drugs and drink.

Continue reading “Long Lost Friends in the Wildness of Dagga”

Blinded

I just realized that took a lot of pictures since 10 years ago while looking back at my DeviantArt page. I was so fond of black white analog photography. I felt like I could express myself and met a lot of interesting genuine people on the street without even saying a word.

Anyone could be a photographer now. Everyone got high-end camera right on their hand. We just could take any kind of pictures and upload it anytime to their Instagram account. Show off your daily life and beloved by people or stranger around has never been this easier.

But the question is, are they even real? The shots they took everyday?

I feel like I’m losing my appetite to take an interesting picture. It’s just kinda exhausting to have a digitalized and perfect edited picture before I can upload it somewhere. I’m blinded to the fact that everyone around me got super artsy showing their everyday life. It makes me kinda nervous comparing to myself to the fact that I only stuck at the office 9-to-5 and 8 days a week. I just can’t afford faking my whole life for an Instagram post that probably get only 10 likes.

I do really miss it though. The feeling of its huge grip perfectly in my hand. The Van-Gogh-like point of view from its tiny window. The little sound of its shutter. And the freedom of being anywhere and taking pictures anytime just like the old times.