Heartbreak in Reverse

It was all started 7 years ago.

I met this guy, a mature and beautiful guy. He said he liked me. My parents liked him, my family adored him, everyone told me to be with him, yet some people had a bitter thought of the idea of me being with this guy simply because he just didn’t deserve me.

I was in a broken relationship with someone else by then. It took all my guts to end my relationship and be with this guy. I was curious what could it be, what could go wrong. I pleased everyone with thought that he liked me and maybe I could start a new adventure with him. I didn’t like him at the start, but what intrigues me is that I found a lot of things in common between us. I decided to simply did what everyone told me to do. To be with him, even though my heart was not there.

Finally, we were together. Everyone was happy. I tried to be happy. He was happy, he said. But it didn’t take a long time for him to get bored. I got bored. He cheated, I left him. That just happened in one single night where I decided not to come back and please no one anymore. The world was not care anymore about us, they left us rotten in fake smiles and a dark corner of our lives. We were separated.

If you got a good girl then appreciate it
A wife-material then appreciate it

I’ve been in several relationship after that incident. I’ve dated strangers from the internet, I’ve been back with my ex(es), I stole someone’s husband for the sake of revenge, I treated my fragile heart carelessly just to prove. I live my life with the curse of the numb rational and logical thinking that bury all the emotional feelings in the deepest ground of mind. I simply can feel the sparks no more.

I just run. No matter how lonely it is.

At the end of the day
While you are with me
We’re on different lanes
Chasing different things

This post was inspired by Yuna’s Lanes song.

 

 

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